There Were No Winners

Yesterday, September 27, 2018 – yet another “day that shall live in infamy.” Another Body Blow. They seem to come and go more and more frequently until the nation is left numb and seemingly permanently divided and dysfunctional.

A Body Blow to all who saw and listened to Dr Christine Blasey Ford speak truth to power as she recounted a sexual assault she endured at age 15; especially those who have suffered sexual assault themselves. A Body blow to all who saw and listened to Judge Brett Kavanaugh defend himself, his “name,” his family, and angrily accuse the Democratic members of Senate Judiciary Committee of a “vast left-wing conspiracy.” A Body Blow to the Body Politic when Senator Lyndsey Graham (R-SC) lashed out at his Democratic colleagues on the committee.

No one won. America lost. America lost all sense of dignity and proportion. On a downhill-slide for years now, the process of Advise and Consent for the US Senate to confirm presidential appointments to the Supreme Court has become the arena where every aspect of our country’s dysfunctional constitutional government is on grotesque display.

It was riveting. Like watching a train wreck in slow motion. For some of those millions who were watching and listening across the land it must have been a traumatic “event” like those suffered by both Dr Ford and Judge Kavanaugh and their families, all of whose lives have been disrupted and changed forever.

Accuser and the Accused both provided dramatic, passionate and heart-felt opening statements. Dr Ford was measured, calm, concise and to the point in both her statement and her answers. It was striking that not one Republican committee member other than Chairman Grassley (R-Iowa) spoke a word to Dr Ford. Rather they hid behind a hired-gun – a prosecutor of sex crimes from Arizona – who asked all “their” questions for them in true prosecutorial style. One has to wonder how a human being can listen to what Dr Ford detailed about the traumatic and humiliating assault she suffered when 15 and not say one word thanks, or “I’m sorry,” for her courage to come forward; not offer one word of comfort; only to sit there stone-faced, no affect whatsoever, as this articulate and accomplished woman re-lived her trauma in as much detail as she can retrieve from her hippocampus 36 years later before a committee in that tiny hearing-chamber, and before a national TV and Internet audience. All the while keeping her composure. Her answers to the hired counsel were always concise, precise and to the point.

The contrast was stark from the very beginning of Judge Kavanaugh’s opening statement and testimony. Out of the box he was angry. One might even say furious. Facial affect ranging from anger to sneering to near-tears whenever mentioning his parents or family. While merely inches away from achieving his life’s dream of a seat on the US Supreme Court, he repeatedly reminded us of all the hard work he has done to reach what would be the pinnacle of any attorney’s career, and how unfair it felt to him to have to defend what he described as an exemplary life from high school all the way to this very moment before a nation wanting to hear the truth. His answers to his questioners were rambling, unfocused, and a mix of sarcasm, anger and repetition of the same talking-points he had outlined in his opening statement. He thought nothing of interrupting US Senators while asking their questions, and even periodically turned their questions back at them as if it were they who were under scrutiny. They were. He would see to that. At times it appeared as if he could not answer a simple yes-or-no question. He would stare at his inquisitor with contempt in his eyes. One cannot question his belief that he did nothing wrong. One is forced to wonder, however, if his temperament is a fit for the highest court in the land? One thing was clear: the man really likes his beer! His performance was applauded on Twitter by the President of the United States immediately after the hearing was gaveled adjourned.

At the end of the day there were victims strewn all over the field of battle – and it was a battle. The two witnesses had to have gone home exhausted, spent, and no better off than when they first sat down at the witness table. Every senator on the committee must have been exhausted, spent and questioning deep within themselves how it has possibly come to all this. Trauma survivors across the country must have felt exhausted, spent and at once buoyed by the doctor’s courage and wondering if there had been any forward progress on how this kind of abuse and assault will be treated in the future.

 As it all began to unfold, I was running errands. I had read Dr Ford’s statement the night before on NPR.org. Yet, nothing could have prepared me for hearing those words from her directly. I sat in the car listening on the radio, rivetted to every word. Grace under pressure. Pure grace. As I got out to go into Whole Foods, I saw the man in the car next to mine also listening to her every word. That was a hopeful sign. Men listening to this woman whose life was traumatically altered forever one afternoon in Montgomery County, MD. The day the earth stood still. I watched more of her testimony both in the car and at home. During a recess I made it to the gym in time to see Judge Kavanaugh’s entire opening statement and first few answers to questions while on the treadmill for as long as I have ever trod on the mill. Then during the next recess, I made it home for the rest of the hearing. All the post-game analysis was predictable on any network. Take your pick. Like everyone else, I was left exhausted, spent and disappointed that it has come to this. All my past traumas were themselves laid bare, deep within the lock-box of my hippocampus. No doubt Lady Justice shed a collective tear for us all. There were no winners.